Inky ^beta

I was pretty sure I was dead. The tall, hooded figure next to me, holding a scythe, seemed to confirm it. I also remember getting hit by a car. I was sure that I was dead. Of course the tall guy insisted I wasn’t dead, which was quite silly considering all the other evidence suggesting otherwise.

Annoyingly, he was also being quite vague about everything. "If I’m not dead, then what the heck am I?" I asked. "Unless I’m still alive, of course, and this is just a really weird dream."

"It’s complicated," he replied, all business-like.

"Who the heck are you anyways? Why should I go with you?" I studied his profile. He was tall, of course, and fit the stereotypical persona of Death, complete with a hooded cloak and a scythe held by bony hands. I couldn't really make out his facial features, something keeping me from focusing on it.

"Well you can always take your chances without me."

"Where is here anyways? Considering that apparently I’m not dead, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alive either."

"It’s complicated," the man said. He looked around nervously. "Can we get moving? This is my first assignment on the field, and it would look bad if you faded."

"Faded?"

The man grabbed my wrist. "Look, you can ask questions on the way. We have to get moving before they get here." He started dragging me in what appeared to be no particular direction. "Why didn’t anyone tell me how many questions people ask? The handbook did not prepare me for this at all. This is going to be a nightmare explaining how I lost a stupid human," he muttered.

"Wait, who’s going to get me? And if I’m not alive, how can anything hurt me?" I asked as I was pulled along. I quickened my step to catch up to his pace.

"You’re not dead yet," he said impatiently. "That makes you vulnerable to any nasty creatures that might want to eat your soul. Now can we please pick up the pace?"

"I don’t understand. Who wants to eat a dead guy?"

"Well first of all, you’re not dead yet. That makes your soul vulnerable. As for what wants to eat you, we can get to that later. That’s what I’m here for anyways," he said, waving his scythe around.

"That makes absolutely no sense. What’s going on?"

The man whirled around and stared me dead in the eye. I flinched. Where his eyes should have been was an empty void. "Look, we can stay here talking, which would likely lead to the end of your existence, which would look bad on my record, or we can save the questions for later," he said darkly. "I know things are confusing, but we need to go. Long story short, you’re not alive anymore, but you’re not dead yet. Until you’re dead, you’re in danger. Which is why we can’t stay here."
"Why am I in danger?" I asked.

He threw up his hands. "What did I say about questions? And have you even been listening? You know what, questions later. Now we leave." He grabbed my wrist again and started dragging me along.

I decided that I was probably dreaming, and saw no harm in following along.

"So where we're headed," I said. "How are we getting there? Car? Magic carpet? Dragon? That'll be cool."

The man ignored me.

"Can I at least get a name? Bartholomew? You look a bit like a Bartholomew."
"You can call me Grimm," he grunted.

"Like the reaper?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Like the job title," he said. His tone made it clear that particular conversation was over.

"So who are we running from?"

"It's complicated."

I decided I wouldn't get much more out of him. In the lull, I took a look around. It was just your average featureless wasteland. To an extent, anyways. At one point, all I could see was a wall of mist. Was this the best idea of an afterlife my brain could think up? That certainly was disappointing. And if it were real? Well, living here for the rest of eternity would suck.

"We're here." I realized that we had stopped. I glanced around. It was still the same featureless wasteland as before, though the mist did seem a bit thicker than usual. I wondered how Grimm knew where to go.

"So this is it? The end of the line?"

"What? Of course not!" That was the most emotion Grimm had shown the entire trip. "Why would you ever think that?"

"But you said that we're here," I protested. "If we're not there yet, where are we?"

"I didn't mean 'here' as in the end; I meant that we're at the Path of the Dead. This isn't the end; if anything, this is where we truly begin our journey."
"The Path of the Dead? That doesn't sound ominous at all."

"Whatever you think, it doesn't matter at all. We need to go. Now."

With those comforting words, he grabbed my wrist and dragged me through the mist. But it didn't feel like mist. It was like a curtain of darkness draped over me, sucking away all semblance of warmth. When we pushed past, the featureless landscape was gone. In its place was endless darkness.

Don't scream, don't scream. Breathe. Take a deep breath. This was fine.

"What's this?" I asked, trying to hide my fear. I realized how he could take that the wrong way. "And don't say 'the Path of the Dead.' I know that already. I mean, what's it for? Where does it lead?"

"This is the barrier between the land of the living, and the land of the dead."
The barrier between what now? I stopped and planted my feet. "Wait a second. If that was the barrier between life and death, then... then doesn't that mean I wasn't dead yet?" I didn't wait for his answer, which was bound to be some sort of cryptic half-answer. First, I needed to finish this thought. "And if I wasn't dead, like you keep on saying, then... doesn't that mean I was alive?"

"No you weren't. You were... well the best way to describe it would be 'in transit,' I suppose."

That cleared things up perfectly. If "perfectly" meant "not at all." Why couldn't he give me a straight answer? He pulled on my wrist, but I refused to move. First, I needed proper answers.

"But if I was 'in transit,' then couldn't I have gone the other way? Back to life?"

"No. I'm sorry. Once you lose that spark of life, you can't go back." For a second, he almost seemed sympathetic. I felt a warmth creep up from within me, until it was ruthlessly crushed. I shivered. Something about this place made everything feel cold.

"Now we have to get moving," he said, back to his usual frigid self. "Before they get here."

"Before who gets here?"

"No more questions!" he snapped. "We have wasted enough time already. Let's move!"
Yep, back to his old self again. I guess that bit of sympathy was just a fluke. That tiny bit of information would be all I'd get out of him for a while.
In the meantime, we were running around in the darkness like headless chickens, weaving around obstacles I couldn't see. Of course, Grimm could see just fine, but the darkness smothered me. But he was distracted, always looking back, searching for some hidden enemy.

Eventually, I worked up the courage to try again. "Hey Grimm."

He didn't respond, of course, though I knew he had heard me.

"You know, I was thinking, just in case this was, if this was real. And I was... dead. Then... I'd like some answers. About where we are. And what we're doing. Where we're going. Simple things like that."

I was met with more silence. I pushed forward.

"If I'm... dead. I want to know... where is this place? Who's chasing us? How do I know what's real?" Once I began, the questions kept pouring out. "What's the point of what, what we're doing now? Why am I here? Is there an afterlife? Is that where we're going? Why's it so cold here? What the hell do you mean when you say I'm not dead yet? Or alive? And goddamnit, who are we running from?"

"Doesn't matter. Now stop asking questions."

"Doesn't matter?" "Stop asking questions?" That's all I was getting out of him? I pulled my arm away from his grasp.

"No, you don't get to say that!" I screamed. I deserved more than that. "You keep on telling me not to ask questions, but I need answers! You haven't told me anything at all!"

"I told you, we have to keep moving!"

"Why goddamnit?"

"Or they'll get here!"

"Who the hell are they?" Why are we running from them? How do I even know this is real?"

"I assure you, this is as real as it gets. Your soul is very much in danger. Now we have to go before they find..." He froze. I felt a chill wash over me.
"What was that?" I asked meekly. My voice was trembling. I peered into the darkness, but I still couldn't see anything.

"They've found us," he said grimly. I couldn't even summon the strength to be annoyed at his non-answer. "Stay behind me," he ordered, pushing me back. He drew out the scythe he had strapped to his back and gave it an experimental twirl.
"What's there?" I asked. "I... I can't see anything."

"Just stay behind me. And don't do anything stupid," he said tersely. "In fact, don't move at all."

Normally, I would have taken offence at that, but at this point, all I could do was nod dumbly.

The next few minutes were the most terrifying and confusing minutes of my life. I was blind in the darkness. All I could see was Grimm leaping around, his cloak fluttering behind him, slashing at enemies I couldn't see. In each of those exchanges, I heard the clashing of metal, and sparks flashing like a symphony of fireworks. They lit up in the darkness like stars in the night, yet still revealing nothing.

Sometimes, those sparks were accompanied by a grunt of pain from Grimm. Those moments made the unnatural chill settle in all the deeper.

I was itching to do something, to move. To help. To run. Just anything other than stand here helplessly. But I remembered Grimm's orders. Trying to do anything would only make things worse. All I could do was watch helplessly as he struggled against a threat I couldn't even see.

After what felt like an eternity, there was silence. I heard a final ringing of steel, a final flourish of Grimm's scythe as he leapt down into a crouch, and an unearthly screech that chilled me to my bones. But something was wrong. The unnatural coldness was still there. This wasn't over yet.

Grimm stood up from his bent position and turned to face me. I could see his mouth open with a silent warning cry. But it was too late.

I saw a flash of a pale otherworldly face, the quiet serenity in its eyes, and the feathers of its ivory wings. I was awestruck by its beauty. I heard a scream. It might have been me.

Then the nightmares began.

Every moment of helplessness, of misery, in my life came flooding back to me with sharp clarity. I saw every horrible thoughts I had ever thought, every unkind word ever uttered to me, and those spoken behind my back. I saw every insecurity, every secret fear, I had ever held. I saw myself... I saw myself in the moments before my death. I wanted to give up. I wanted to stop fighting. Maybe I should have. Maybe I did.

I was drowning, sinking deeper and deeper. I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I couldn't breathe. I flailed helplessly. I thought nobody would save me. I thought nobody would care. I stopped struggling.

But then a hand reached out to me, a beacon in the darkness. Should I take it? Could I take it? It seemed so far away. Could I reach it?

I took the plunge. I reached out. But nothing was there. Then there was a flash of steel. I woke up to darkness.

I couldn't see. Was I still drowning? Then I saw Grimm standing there. I relaxed. Even though I still knew nothing, at least this was something familiar.

I thought Grimm would berate me again for simply lying there, and order me to keep going. I probably would have listened. Instead, he was silent, content to let me recover from my ordeal.

Finally, I regained my breath. I stood up. "What was that?" I gasped, not really expecting an answer. I was pleasantly surprised when I got one, even if it still made no sense.

"Those were angels."

They were what now? "Angels. Like the glowy 'hark the herald angels sing' angels? From the Bible? Those ones? They were trying to kill me?"

"Different ones. Whoever named them decided to be lazy. And technically, they weren't trying to kill you: Just eat your soul."

Eat my what now? Ok. One step at a time. "I'm surprised you aren't yelling at me," I mused.

"The danger's already passed. They won't be back," he said. He hesitated. "And... I realize I was... I was wrong. I was wrong to ignore your questions. I was trying to protect you, but it ended up putting you in danger. I'm... I'm sorry."

"Care to explain?"

He was silent for so long that I thought he might not answer. But eventually, he spoke, so quietly I could barely hear. "They're attracted to fear."

"Come again?"

"They're attracted to fear. That's... that's why I wouldn't tell you about them. But that backfired."

I wasn't sure how to take that. "Fear? But I wasn't afraid of them, not back then anyways."

"Not fear of them. They're attracted to something... different. The fear of death. Of what lies beyond. And once they latch on to you, they'll never let you escape that fear."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you experienced it yourself. You'll be trapped in your nightmares until your soul is all spent."

"And... my fear of death? I'm already dead, aren't I? Or at least close to it. And there's an afterlife, right? That's where we're headed. So there's nothing to fear. Right?"

There was a moment of silence. "I don't know," he admitted. "I don't know what comes after death."

"What do you mean you don't know! You're, you're like Death! How do you not, how do you not know?"

"I'm not Death," he said, almost indulgently. He shouldn't. Not after something like that. "I'm just a guide."

"But if you're a guide, then you should know where you're leading me, right?" I was getting hysterical. "I mean, there's got to be an afterlife! There's this place, why can't there be something more? I mean, heck, I could even live here, couldn't I?"

"That's what I was trying to avoid. That fear of death," he said. He sounded like he was in mourning. Fitting, I supposed. "But you can't stay here. This was only meant to be... a pit stop, I suppose. Lingering will... well you can't. You weren't meant to be here."

"But then where are we going?" I asked quietly. I was afraid he hadn't heard me, so I said again, louder, "Then where are we going?"

"I don't know. Whatever's beyond. The threshold beyond death. We call it the Veil. Where souls go to be laid to rest."

I sat down. Okay. So there might not be an afterlife, besides this place anyways. Okay. I felt something wet trickle down my cheek. I wiped it away. It was a teardrop. Was I crying? I guess so. Fitting, as I was mourning the life I never had, and the life that might never will be. I broke down into a sob.

Grimm was being annoyingly quiet. I sprung to my feet. "Aren't you going to say something?" I screamed. It was probably unfair of me to take it out on him, but I was too miserable to care.

"Are you?"

Was I? What the hell did he mean? Was I what? Was I going to say something? Was I... was I afraid of dying? Was I? Why shouldn't I be? Why shouldn't the idea of dying be painful? Why shouldn't I want to live again? But... I wouldn't. I would never see the stars again. I would never see my home again. I would never live again. Because I was dead.

I sat back down. "I had dreams, you know," I said. Kind of obvious, really, since everybody had dreams, but I felt it needed to be said. "Things I wanted to accomplish, milestones I wanted to achieve. I failed of course. And now I might never reach them. And... that's what scares me."

"It's okay to be scared," said Grimm. "Even I'm scared. My job is to convince them to go past the Veil, not even knowing what's there. I could very well be leading them to nothing. That's why... that's why I'm not even sure if I'm cut out for this. And one day, I'll pass through the Veil just like everyone else."

That was strangely depressing. But I saw his point. Death was just the next great adventure, wasn't it? And it's not like I had any other option.

"I'm actually dead, aren't I?" That was the first time I truly acknowledged this as more than just a dream out loud. "Or at least not alive anymore."

He nodded.

"Ok." I had known this for a while now, but I hadn't really accepted it yet. Now I had.

"Tell me about yourself," I said abruptly. "Something to take my mind off this."

He nodded again. "There's not much to say," he began. "I just woke up here, just like you. Somebody found me, another guide, and trained me. Taught me everything I know."

"So you used to be human? Could I do that too? What you do? Be a guide?"

"I don't know," he said. "I woke up without any memories. For all I know, I was born here."

I decided to change the topic. "So there are other guides like you?"

"Yes," he said. "We call ourselves the Grimm, after the original."

"Do they all use scythes too? Seems like a difficult weapon."

He chuckled. I didn't think he could do that. It almost made him seem... human. It felt strange in such a dark place, but I smiled.

"No, I'm special," he said. "Most others use swords, or something practical like that, but I thought it looked cool. Really hard to carry around though."

"Effective though."

"I suppose so. It's satisfying at least."

I laughed. It echoed strangely across the darkness. I felt like I was bringing a little joy in this cold world. I wondered if anybody could hear me. I wondered if my laughter was any comfort to them, letting them know that there was someone else here with them.

"You're not so bad," I said. "Not like I thought."

He didn't respond at first. When he spoke again, he was somber. "I messed up pretty badly with you."

"No, I was the one to blow up on you. It was my fault." Personally, I thought I was pretty justified doing so, but I figured being gracious wouldn't hurt.

"But that was because I wasn't telling you the truth," he countered. "I should have figured out a way to break it to you gently."

I shrugged. "Well you're still pretty new to this, right? Just do better next time. Besides, it turned out okay with me."

"I suppose it did."

Nothing had changed, really. I was still dead, heading off into the unknown, but something seemed different. Maybe I wasn't scared anymore. Or at least my fear wasn't stopping me anymore.

"I think I'm ready to go," I said. Funny how it was me trying to get us moving now.

"Are you really?" he asked.

Was I? If I was being honest... no. But I had a feeling I never would be. And that was okay. I just had to take the plunge.

Grimm seemed to see something in my expression. "I understand," he said.
I stood up. "Let's just go, shall we?"

He nodded. He grabbed onto my wrist and led me off down the path. Somehow, the darkness didn't feel quite as suffocating anymore. Soon, much sooner than I had expected, we stopped.

"This is it. The Veil," he said.

"Already?" I had expected a much longer journey, given his previous haste.

"The landscape here isn't exactly static. You can only find the Veil when you are ready to find it. When you've accepted your death."

When I accept my death? Then why did he... No, it didn't matter. We both made mistakes. What mattered was that I was here. But where was it?

I squinted. It was faint, but I could make out the vague outline of a doorway. As I focused, the outline became clearer and brighter. Soon, the brightness made me look away. I gulped. This was it.

I turned to Grimm. "I guess this is goodbye now."

"I guess it is."

I blinked back tears. "Thank you. Even though it began badly, thank you for everything. Thank you."

He nodded. "You're welcome."

I looked towards the doorway. It was still becoming brighter. I took a step forward. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Until I was there. What was this feeling? It felt like... peace. I smiled. I was home.

-

Grimm watched as another soul stepped through the Veil, not knowing what lay on the other side. He envied that faith. He wished he knew if what he did was right. Could he really say he had done something good?

"So how was your first assignment?" asked a voice from behind him. He didn't bother looking.

"I don't know," he admitted.

"You did good, you know. Well, maybe you had a rough start - you really need to work on your bedside manner - but it ended up alright."

"Did it really?"

"They were at peace."

He looked through the Veil. Like always, he saw nothing. He wondered what the souls going through it saw. He wondered what was in the world he was blind to. Or if there even was anything there.

"All life comes to an end," the voice continued, oblivious to his inner musings. "We're just here to guide them through the journey."

"Maybe you're right," he finally said.

"Of course I am. So does that mean you're going to continue?"

Grimm looked back. He smiled.

"Yes, I think I am."

"So ready for your next assignment?"

"Already?"

"Of course. Death doesn't take a break, and neither can we."

"Sure, I'm ready."

He looked past the Veil one last time. Maybe he couldn't see past it, maybe he never would. But life and death was a cycle; one couldn't exist without the other. Everyone, even him, would reach their time and return to where they came. He was just there to guide them through it.

But for now, he had a job to do.